


Call To The Void

by CoffeeComa



Series: Dream Journal [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't worry, Fantasy, Gen, Other, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Slipstream - Freeform, Softcore Porn, Stream of Consciousness, Trans Male Character, Vomiting, dream - Freeform, nothing too graphic, these are mentioned briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25864153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeComa/pseuds/CoffeeComa
Summary: "Whatever you do, do not let go."We enter the void.
Relationships: Original Female Character & Original Male Character
Series: Dream Journal [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876810
Kudos: 6





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is based heavily on a dream I had weeks ago where I went to a party and I met a girl. It gets crazier and more fantastical as the dream moves on and it was so amazing, I decided to write it out to the public.
> 
> Although this doesn't take place in Japan, both the girl and I have Japanese names and there are references to Kabuki theater later on. The reason for this is that I dug a little too deep into my cultural roots and brought them out into the dream. Sticking to the plot and to the characters of the dream, I decided not to change the names.
> 
> Also, there are references to child abuse and rape in the beginning, but it's very brief. However, if that bothers you, please click off.
> 
> Finally, the italics are the protag's thoughts. If you see something italicised, that's why.

_ Why did I even go to this party? _ __   
  


“Oops, sorry!” 

I gave the person apologising to me a half-smile. I didn’t want to be a dick, but this was getting on my nerves. She was the thousandth person to hit into me. “It’s okay, really,” I yelled through the cacophony of music and moaning, but she was already tongue battling with some random dude a few feet away from where I sat awkwardly on the peeling leather couch.

The bodies surrounded me, writhing and squirming in animalistic pleasure to the eardrum-bursting techno playing through the speakers. As much I enjoyed the song in the background, I refused to even jump into the softcore orgy before me. Instead, I sat back and observed. One girl was grinding on a guy who couldn’t be much taller than me — they were both ridiculously attractive and could flow with the rhythm seamlessly, but they weren’t nearly as interesting as the man slamming himself onto his partner’s crotch, legs wrapped around the other man’s waist and arms around his neck. His partner held him by the ass and humped into him. Good thing everyone was clothed, even if it was barely covering anything.

Just when I felt like it couldn’t get worse, someone yanked at my arm rather harshly. I fell into their lap and the warmth of their rising boner rubbed against me in the most uncomfortable way ever.

_ “Shh… Just be a good girl.” _

I felt her hands on me again. Those predatory digits skirted around my body and that rapacious gaze bore holes into the back of my head.

There was blood on my knuckles and I had no idea whose.

When I turned around, there was a messy haired guy with wide wild eyes, kinda lanky but he was way taller than me. He held his nose with both of his bony hands and his eyes flashed such intense anger, I just knew I was dead.

He started to chuckle, the vibrations rumbling through my frame. “Damn, baby boy, I was just tryna get to know ya better,” he laughed through his hands. It was bitter and biting. I gulped, just knowing I messed up.

_ You’re going to die, Mako. Just accept it. _

“Why ya gotta be so hostile, baby? Be good fer me…”

He had to be drunk, or high, or both. His eyes swam with malice and rage, but they were so unfocused. If he were to throw a punch, could he even land it?

“Hey you!”

I turned around and saw a beautiful girl with a curly ‘fro. I couldn’t tell the colour of it through the multicoloured strobe lights that painted the room and my lack of good vision, but it was definitely bright. She grinned at me, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “I noticed that you were looking pretty uncomfortable. You wanna come hang out in the back?”

I turned back to see the guy I was still sitting on. Blood covered his hands like gloves, but his expression changed from one of anger to one of fear. I didn’t care to ask why, but maybe this girl was good news. For me, at least.

“Sure.”

She grabbed my hand and with the slightest effort, pulled me away from him. We swam through the sea of clothed sex. I hit into multiple bodies, but none seemed to mind. My head was spinning as the smell of alcohol, arousal, and weed permeated the air like a nimbus cloud of sin. The bile in my gut threatened to come up, but before I could vomit on one of them, I was in a white hallway, away from all of the overwhelming stimuli.

It was so bright, so vast, and so  _ plain. _ There were a few ferns placed by the wooden doors on either side of the narrow walls, but other than that, there was nothing. At least the music and noise was gone.

I tried to sneak a glimpse of her face, but I couldn’t focus on it. Everything was so bright and her neon pink hair wasn’t making it any better.

She pulled me into a room, just as white as the rest of the place, and sat at a bar built into the wall. She started to strike a conversation with the pretty little bartender, but I didn’t really pay much attention to it, though I could hear both of them giggling through my daze. 

Finally, my eyes adjusted to harsh light and I saw her clearly for the first time. 

_ Oh my God. She looks like me. _

She had phoenix eyes, piercing and discerning much like my own. Her cheekbones were high on her face and she had those dimples when she smiled that crooked smile of hers. Even her skin tone was that same caramel colour as mine and she had a button nose — just like mine. Of course, there were some differences such as freckles and her nasal bridge was more defined than mine with a slight bump, but still. It was like looking into a mirror, but if I was a woman and a few feet taller. And more attractive. 

“Hey, where’s the gear I told you to bring?” She said suddenly. I blinked at her in confusion. “Gear?” She nodded. “Yeah. Remember when I told you to bring black and yellow clothes like the ones I’m wearing and the ones everyone else is, too.”

I looked around the room. Everybody there was wearing black and yellow or black and gold tracksuits. 

_ Odd. Where’d they even come from? _

“Well, I brought some spare clothes, but they’re in my backpack,” I explained. “They’re not black and yellow, but—”

“That’s fine. As long as they’re not like what you’re wearing.”

_ What the hell?!  _

I didn’t remember throwing on thick bangles, a sheer blouse, and baggy striped pants. Of course I threw those bangles off. It was humiliating enough without them.

I tried to explain myself, but she guffawed until tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. “It’s okay, really!” Even the bartender couldn’t control his laughter, but quickly stifled himself when I glared.

“Anyway, I’ll just grab them and—”

My back felt lighter. I didn’t even see the straps on my shoulders either.

_ What the hell is going on?! _

“Uhm… It’s not here.”

She didn’t look too surprised. With a hum, she hopped off of the stool and grabbed my arm. “It’s probably in the storage room. I’ll help you find it.”

That smile was unsettling, to say the least. It was broad yet still didn’t reach her eyes. They were unreadable, but I saw something hesitant in the haze of wandering emotions. Before I could get a word out, glass shattered in behind us.

I leaned to the side until I could see the bartender. Glass shards clung to his hand and blood dripped everywhere. “Are you okay?” Both the woman and I asked. He stared  _ through _ us. His gaze was focused on something we couldn’t see. I didn’t want to. “Misaki, are you sure… ?”

She didn’t respond but she pulled me out of there and into the hallway.

For some reason, the lights didn’t illuminate the very end of the blinding white hallway. It was eerie that the double doors were almost invisible, engulfed by darkness. Even the red “EXIT” sign was dimmer than usual.

The woman — Misaki, she was apparently named — turned to me with a serious expression and squeezed my hand. “Whatever you do,” she said very slowly, “do not let go.”

I nodded and she pushed open the door.

There was nothing but pitch blackness, but she leaped right in with me in tow.

The dread was creeping in.


	2. Enter The Void

There it was again. The sound of shattering glass.

It echoed through the cold, dark void, simultaneously sounding near and far. When I opened my eyes, I saw triangle shards flying from our bodies, rolling off of us like water. "Mi—!" My voice died in my throat as a turquoise tinted glass pane appeared, floating in mid-air. 

I looked down at our hands intertwined, feeling a nearly painful pressure as she squeezed tighter and tighter. We seemed to fly in this emptiness. The laws of physics didn’t apply, but why would they?

“I want you to hold onto it.”

We almost crashed into it, but I used my free hand to grab the bottom of it. Misaki did the same. Another glass appeared beneath us like a thin platform to stand on. It glowed a bright sky blue colour, almost as blinding as that hallway. “Do you see a number over there?”

I almost broke my neck twisting it as quickly as I did. In the distance, there was another glass pane, tinted a nice cerulean colour, with the number 3 painted in a reddish colour inside of it. There was also a stairwell inside and it seemed to be part of a building of some sort.

“Yeah!” I didn’t mean to be so loud, but my nerves were so frazzled, they were stinging all around. The glass shook a bit at my interjection and we both gripped onto the panes harder. A cracking noise echoed through and some of the glass chipped away at our hands. There was still no pain, fortunately.

She seemed to be unfazed by it. That, or she was way better than I was at hiding anxiety.

“Good,” she mumbled, “we’re getting closer.”

Then, quietly, she added, “I think.”

_Oh no._

_You think?! What does that even entail? Oh God, oh God, oh God!_

She must’ve sensed my worry because she gave me a sympathetic smile. “Don’t worry, Mako. We’ll get to the storage room in no time.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. She wasn’t, either, just from hearing the slight shake in her voice. “It’s either on the third or fourth floor, but I can’t remember that much,” she mused mostly to herself. “As a matter of fact, I haven’t been here in a long time because we usually keep everything in the rec room or in the living room, but mistakes happen, y’know?”

I nodded.

_She really is like me, huh._

She held tighter to my hand. So tight, it felt like the poor thing was going to crack like glass itself.

Suddenly, there was a crack beneath our feet.

“F-fuck…”

_“Whatever you do, do not let go.”_

I gripped onto her hand and twisted my body until I was facing her on the crumbling pane. My other hand snaked its way around her waist. The look in her eyes was one I’d never forget.

My legs gave out and the only support either of us had was the fragile glass holding us together. I tried to push the both of us off and into the rest of the void where we could float, but unfortunately…

I don’t know when I opened my eyes or when we stopped falling.

All I saw when I came to was her splayed body in the spotlight, immobile except for the slightest twitch and convulsion. Shards impaled her from her mouth to her feet. A particularly huge one stuck out from her stomach and it was the most bloodied of them. 

They surrounded her like a field of flowers that she laid in the middle of. If only it was that beautiful to witness.

“Misaki!” I cried. With a weak cough, her dulled eyes glanced at me. “S-save... yourself, Ma-Mako-to…”

A build-up of unfettered, untamed emotions coursed through every fibre of my being and the tears started to fall. I dropped down to my knees and screamed to the top of my lungs. I couldn’t hear myself, just the echoes of that familiar raspy voice that I dissociated from every time.

_Why God, why?!_

_Why do you always take the innocent ones and never me?!_

The lump swelled even tighter and I choked. Bile threatened to flow up to my esophagus, but I swallowed it down as much as I could.

The body was starting to relax and those dark phoenix eyes so full of life and courage were completely depleted of everything. In those few moments of knowing her, I felt something different than I ever had with any person — there was something special about her.

“I’ll never let go, Misaki!” I cried louder. I could hear my voice booming through my ears like a taiko. My eardrums throbbed, but I didn’t care. “I love you!”

More spotlights came on, revealing clear glass boxes with titanium borders around them. Inside where what seemed like random articles of clothing on mannequins. Strangely, the mannequins were blackened out, but the clothes weren’t.

I ran.


	3. Escape The Void

I hit into something soft.

Or rather, _someone_ soft.

When I looked up, a redheaded man with a scruffy beard and acne scars was extending his beefy hand to me. He had a blind German Shepherd on the other side of him that was panting and wagging its tail. 

I shook my head of the thoughts and took his hand. He pulled me up. “Sorry… And thanks.” He simply nodded, not saying a word.

I took a quick scan around. I wasn’t in the void anymore. I was in a living room. An oddly decorated one at that.

The alabaster couch was extremely long, wrapping around the room and only breaking the chain for the TV and the front door. Mirrors were all around the walls along with clocks that told different times every time I looked at them.

_Should I even be here?_

The dog walked up and sniffed at my hand. “Cute dog,” I giggled nervously. He smiled softly and hummed, but nothing much after that.

“... I found some stuff in the bathroom,” he said plainly, a slight accent dripping from his words.

Down the hall — that black void of a hall — is where he pointed. I nodded and walked into the familiar abyss.

The bathroom was at the end of the void. It was cramped and dark with the only light coming from a single window on the side of the wall.

In the window, two dogs sat on the roof of what looked to be the garage, looking in.

_Wait… Dogs on the roof?!_

I blinked. Once. Twice. After the third time, it donned on me that I wasn’t hallucinating. They even started to wag their tails and bark excitedly.

“Focus, Mako,” I whispered to myself. “He found something here…”

Right in front of me, by the bathtub, was a makeshift crate shelf with books, soap, and food.

“What the hell?! This stuff could spoil!” I screamed. The dogs barked and howled, but I was too concerned with the big basket of perishables in front of me along with some pickled oddities that I didn’t dare to touch.

I picked up two gallon jugs of milk and a pack of bologna. Fortunately, they were still cold.

The hallway had become longer, narrower, and smaller. If I swayed, I bumped into the void and it absolutely _burned._

Somehow, I ended up in the kitchen.

It was a plain kitchen with no appliances, dishes, or even silverware visible except for some never used knives still in the wooden block. The striped wallpaper was an ugly neon green and yellow colour with little rust dots on it, but other than that, it seemed normal.

A chill ran across the place and the curtains of the sink’s window rose up, revealing the moon, angry and frowning at me.

_Holy hell…_

Its craters morphed into an almost human face and the all-too-familiar feeling of dread settled in the pit of my stomach. The sky was a maroon colour with an orange ring surrounding the moon like a halo and it was too bright to see any stars around. Not even the north star. It was truly desolate.

I moved away from the rock’s field of view and put the food in the empty fridge.

“Let’s see if they have anything…”

I pulled open a cabinet.

“Hee...heee...hehehehehehe!”

It sounded like little huffs and pants of tiny people, but I didn’t see a thing.

Like an accordion, the cabinet’s mechanism of wooden sticks and balls was folding into itself until it closed on its own.

I tried with a drawer this time.

“Hehehehehehe!”

_It did the same thing!_

There wasn’t a single clue as to what could be making that noise. The wood couldn’t have possibly made such a lively sound, right? It wouldn’t be impossible for tiny ants or fairies to control them. After everything I’ve seen in that crazy world, it’d be the least surprising.

Although there was no other types of food or even beverages, there was cookware. However, it didn’t seem to be used in a while.

I was going to test out the gas burning stove and oven, but the moon came closer. It stared through the window menacingly. A chill ran through my spine and my hands were clammy.

I scurried to the living room like a rat.

I came back to the living room and the man was saying something in a language I never heard before. His accent was thicker, maybe Eastern European, and his words seemed to slur. The dog wasn’t with him anymore, but he didn’t seem to mind.

His flannel shirt had a big stain on it and he smelled of milk and meat. He said something again and handed me a mostly empty pack of bologna. “Bathroom.” I nodded again and ran down the void again.

The dogs were still there, playing. The man’s German Shepherd was also there, but it sat on its hind legs, listening to the other two.

“Tsk, tsk!” I clicked my tongue. The dogs turned to me, panting and wagging their tails. “I’ve got food!” They howled as if they knew what I was saying.

_Hopefully that guy gave me enough…_

I threw some bologna out the window and they ran off towards it. 

There was no thud. No sound afterwards. They were just gone.

I took a step back and saw my backpack where the shepherd was sitting. Without even looking inside, I grabbed it and ran out.

_It’s kinda heavy, but whatever._

The walls of the void were closing in on me. Everything was burning. Lactic acid built up in my arms and legs, scorching me from within while the darkness was searing me from outside.

_Whatever you do, do not let go._

“Misaki…”

I saw her mangled body in my vision. The way the shards stabbed into her throat and abdomen, all of the blood that coated those shards, and her final words to me — were all of those things in vain? 

“No, no, no, no!”

I ran as fast as I could. My leg was giving out on me. As usual, the useless part couldn’t handle the pressure — I was at the limit, and goddammit, I was going to push through that limit.

The living room was so close. I could see the long couch and my reflection in the mirror running towards itself. I could feel the cool breeze from the kitchen making its way there to greet me after going through hell.

Finally, I could see that door. My escape.

Then, it happened again.

The ground crumbled beneath my feet as soon as I stepped into the living room. I no longer saw the man, but I saw the living room tearing apart.

A presence, a dark one, was behind me.

I turned around and the moment I did, the perspective changed. I saw my field of vision get wider, broader, and in third person. The void was blindingly white — even more so than the hallway — and triangular shards fell from the crumbling living room and the kitchen, taking the colours of the rooms with them.

A girl who was around the same height, possibly even the same age, as Misaki stepped into the kitchen and stood right on the edge of it. Two inhumanly slim black figures with Okame masks stood beside her.

She raised her head and looked up at me through a dull grey eye. Her dry skin was a pale blue with visible veins and her frizzy indigo hair covered her other eye.

I reached into my backpack from behind, feeling for anything that I could use to defend myself.

_Oh?_

There was something heavy, but sharp in my bag. I pulled it out and grinned. I was confused, but not disappointed.

“Thank you, Misaki,” I muttered and held the handle of the machete in two hands. 

The girl didn’t react. Instead, she weakly reached out her hand.

I gasped and gripped onto the handle for dear life.

“Whatever I do,” I spat, swinging the blade towards her, “I’ll never let go!”

Her arm and the lock of hair that covered her other eye were cut away and crumbled into glass. Her other eye was dark brown. Phoenix shaped.

“... Mis—?”

Before I could even say the rest of the name, she completely shattered and so did the Okame spirits.

_What did I do?_

  
_  
_ Why the hell did I do that?

At least I was finally in first person again.

The kitchen was mostly gone and parts of the living room were going with it.

“Fuck, I need to get outta here.”

I put the machete back into my bag and ran until I saw another door in the remaining section of the living room.

“Where do you think you’re going this time of night?”

_Mom? Mom?!_

I looked over my shoulder.

The bile won this time.

“And you’re sick!” the voice echoed. “You need to stay here!”

It was so grotesque. So disturbing. So disgusting to look at. The thing had a mask on that looked like my mom’s face. It even had her hair. Unfortunately, that’s where the resemblance ended. The rest of it was a violet blob that oozed thick, oily sweat from its pores and had the tail of a slug.

It didn’t help that my food and stomach acid was on the ground in this increasingly hot room.

I grabbed the machete again and swung wildly.

That was useless.

The thing still came near me and the stench of its secretions made my vomit smell like roses.

It got nearer and nearer until we were inches apart. The living room was gone. We only stood on a single glass pane that was cracking from the pressure of our combined bodies.

_Looks like God’ll be taking me after all, Misaki…_

I laughed. I laughed so hard, the tears started to spill. 

The creature didn’t seem to be fazed and I wasn’t either. I was going to die either way, so why not go out with humour?

Or, so I thought.

Something grabbed me from behind and dragged me from my backpack.

That was all I saw until my vision went black.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dream within a dream.

I woke up in a cold sweat.

It felt like the weight of the world was crushing on my chest. I tried to breathe but couldn’t. My heart felt like it was beating at the speed of a bullet train. The room around me spun wildly.

Here comes the bile.

“Makoto?”

_ That voice… _

“Mi-Misaki?”

My vision didn’t clear up enough to see if it was her, but I caught a glimpse of that pink hair and the lump in my throat blocked the bile. The pressure in my eyes got heavier and I could feel the tears on the verge of spilling.

Clumsily, I wrapped my arms around her and sobbed. She froze, but eventually returned my embrace.

The room around me wasn’t mine. I didn’t recognise it at all, but that didn’t matter. She was here. All I needed was her.

“Whatever you do,” I whispered to her, “do not let go. Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments and kudos are very much appreciated.


End file.
